So, I've deleted at least 15 spam messages and Livejournal is being attacked via who knows what. I'll be setting up a blogspot in the next few days for those of you who read for my family updates. I'm going to back up my fic at either AO3 of elsewhere. When I get a blogspot set up, I'll let you know. 

                                    This blog has moved to culpcerfuffle.tumblr.com    

Terra Nova fic for the Christmas Challenge! 
Title: The Rules
Character/Pairing: Jim Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and Commander Taylor (discussion of Reynolds x Maddy)
Time Frame: future!fic. Roughly two years in the future.
Scenario:Stef's prompt: The men go fishing as a way to bond, hijinks ensue. Josh can go too, but that's up to the writer.

Rating: PG
Warning(s): None
Spoilers: None

( “This is your briefing on the Rules.”  )

Title: Barbarians and Rampaging Women
Character/Pairing: Maddy/Reynolds
Word Count: 9271 (too large for one post so it's split into two Part 1 is here)
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and mentions of sex 
Warning: none
Spoiler alert:  none this is a future!fic 
Summary: Filled for the prompt at Terra Nova's Holiday Challenge! My prompt is below. I wanted to go a little more angsty, but this is still fluffy. Hope you enjoy it 

Title: Barbarians and Rampaging Women
Character/Pairing: Maddy/Reynolds
Word Count: 9271 (total. This is part 1. Part 2 is linked at the bottom) 
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and mentions of sex 
Warning: none
Spoiler alert:  none this is a future!fic 
Summary: Filled for the prompt at Terra Nova's Holiday Challenge! My prompt is below. I wanted to go a little more angsty, but this is still fluffy. Hope you enjoy it 

 
 
 
 
( “You are a barbarian!” She marched right up to Taylor, glaring. Her face was flushed, her hair was falling out of the messy ponytail and she’d never looked sexier. But Reynolds just slouched and sighed in defeat. She was here to yell at his boss. Awesome. )

Hello friends, did you miss me? You probably did. I mean, look at me, I'm awesome. Anyways, Pensacola seems to be sucking the blogging desire right out of me. I'm sure I'll be better once I find my real groove here, but at the moment, I'm still in that adjustment time and things are a little boring. I've still got boxes and boxes in the garage and I still don't have my clock on the wall. But we've got facebook for those everyday interactions, right?

What has finally spurned me into posting is TV. We're far enough into the fall season for me to have a firm opinion on most new shows, so here we go. 

Pan Am - I LOVED THIS SHOW. I loved it so much that the past two episodes have made me cry. But not because they're awesome. Because the first three episodes of the show were so strong. And then they just started phoning it in. 

What I liked originally: fun, whimsical, it was like a happy, cheerful version of Mad Men. It was beautifully shot. Colette (Karine Vanasse) is basically the best character ever. She's got cute, she's got intrigue, she's French and she cries over the Germans killing her parents. Maggie (Christina Ricci) is sassy and feminist! Kate (Kelli Garner) has this secret spy thing that's fun and brings the show a little suspense. Laura (Margot Robbie) is learning her place in the world after leaving her fiance at the alter. Dean and Ted. Oh you boys. I want to hate you but you're just so cute. Can we get more of Sanjeev, too?

What I now hate: Flashbacks are an awesome way to show the views some history of each character. I expect them in pilots and even a second episode. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY JUST STOP TELLING THE STORY VIA FLASHBACK! Everybody loves a linear timeline. We love flashbacks, too. But generally I prefer linear and your constant need to go back and forth is giving me whiplash and it's boring me. Those two reactions should not be caused simultaneously. Kate, stop being the main character. I want to watch a show about flight attendants not about a spy who is worse than Mr. Bean at spying. Christina Ricci is devastatingly underused. Why did she sign on for this show? Thomas Schlamme, remember when Rob Lowe left West Wing because the show was supposed to be about him? That was a diva move, especially on a show that worked much better as an ensemble, but if you somehow get renewed, Christina Ricci would NOT be pulling a diva to demand more story. Maggie and Colette have the most interesting stories in the show, why aren't we seeing more of that? Speaking of Colette, why do you bother making us love her to just toss her aside? She should not just be some kind of plot device for Dean. She's by far the most likable character. I mean, you had her reveal of sleeping with a married man in the pilot and the fans STILL loved her. So let's get some more of her, too. And less spy drama. 

Basically, if this show is renewed, I'll be surprised, so if you haven't seen it, I wouldn't start now. If you have seen it, do you disagree with me?

New Girl: Okay, so I really like this show. It's funny. It's absurd. The boys that quirky Zooey Deschanel lives with are cute. It's silly and mindless fun. But it's just a comedy and there's not much substance there. 

Terra Nova: I really want to love you. I loved the pilot. The world's all used up so we've found a way to go back in time and start over. Awesome. Dinosaurs and ipads. It's cool. But the show runners are both former Star Trek TNG writers and bless their hearts they're already recycling plot lines. Poor guys. Fox obviously demanded some stand alone episodes before they broke into the mythology (Fox Execs, you've been doing this for years. Get your never-written-a-tv-show noses out of show development. It's not working. See:anything Joss Whedon does with Fox.)

The family dynamic is fun to watch, but I'd like to see more of an adjustment for Jim Shannon(Jason O'Mara) because when someone isn't a part of the family for two years, things are not magically better after two weeks. Especially if you have teenagers.

And speaking of teenagers, let's talk about the Degrassi (whoops, one of those teens got their start in Degrassi!) story lines they're pushing. Josh (Landon Liboiron, Degrassi,) I don't like you. You're whiny and rebellious (but not in that fun bad boy way,) and generally just someone I don't care about. I also don't care about your girlfriend in the future or your not girlfriend in Terra Nova. Like I mentioned before, they'd do well to show us more of Josh trying to live with his dad again after feeling abandoned by him. Then I might like him. 

Maddy (Naomi Scott of Lemonade Mouth fame) and Reynolds (Dean Geyer, who was no joke an Australian Idol finalist with really bad hair) are MUCH more pleasant in terms of teen romance. They're sweet and awkward and everything that you remember about dating in high school, none of that Gossip Girl stuff here. The two of them remind me a lot of Matt and Julie from Friday Night Lights. (What do you mean you still haven't watched it? Just go watch FNL. It's on netflix. You'll love it. It's not really about football.)

And finally, Terra Nova, give me more dinosaurs. I know it's expensive, but you've marketed this show as Jurassic Park. We need more dinos. Or at least fix all the other parts so I don't notice the lack of dinos.

Once Upon A Time: Here's another one I want to like. The concept is fun. The actors are all high caliber. But the writing isn't quite there and the back and forth of fairy tale world and the real world just serve to distract me. I also don't know what the format is going to be week to week and I don't like that. But I love Jennifer Morrison (and I hate Ginnifer Goodwin's pixie cut) and it might grow into a really awesome show. If it doesn't get canceled first. 

Grimm: I was excited for Once Upon A Time. I wanted to see Grimm, but I didn't expect to like it. I also figured it would be the show to win the battle if only one show was going to be canceled (it's likely they could both go, but let's pretend that isn't so.) But from the first 10 minutes of Grimm I was hooked. I laughed. I was interested. David Greenwalt is basically the owner of my heart now. He wrote for Angel and Buffy and he hasn't lost any of the wit that made those shows enjoyable to watch. It's not perfect. And it's a procedural, which I very rarely enjoy. But I like it and I hope it keeps doing well. 

I think that's the extent of our new TV shows. For returning shows, I'm just going to talk about Misfits. 

Misfits: In case you didn't know, you can watch the first two seasons of this British take on Heroes, but they're screw ups. They're juvenile delinquents and they aren't even good at being bad. The third season premiered last night and I thought I'd be cool. It's been gone for a year and I'd missed it but I didn't know how much until the chords of the theme started playing. I seriously danced around my living room. 

The departure of Robert Sheehan (Nathan)  was felt, but Joe Gilgun stepped in seamlessly and filled the hole that left so many fangirls crying. His character, Rudy, is not the same as Nathan, thankfully. And Gilgun's power of split personality is engaging to watch and makes him instantly likable. Simon (Iwan Rheon) is working on fulfilling his destiny to be superhoodie and still being an awesome boyfriend to Alisha who thankfully has a much more useful power this season. Kelly (BAFTA winner, Lauren Socha) is still as catty as ever and I though the rumors of a romance with Seth (the power's dealer) turned me off, seeing the hint of it in the first episode made me a believer. (But I'm still pushing for a Curtis/Kelly line. Come on!) 

Misfits is not for those of you who will be easily offended. It's still vulgar, raunchy, and an accurate representation of people that are serving community service and drinking too much. 
 

My kids are awesome sleepers. I don't say that to brag. I say it because it's the one thing I'm ridiculously proud of about my kids. I taught them how to sleep when they were about 4 months old. We used the Weisbluth book (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby) and did some crying it out, which some people have suggested is cruel, but it worked for us. (My kids were terrible babies from birth to 4months. They cried no matter what I did. that's how a person becomes callous enough to use cry it out. I already listened to them cry night and day anyways) My kids have always taken naps, went to bed on their own, I mean without assitance, and generally slept from 7 to 7. There have been short times when this wasn't true, but I'm talking about like 3 days when sick or jet lagged. I"ve been judgy about people who can't get their kids to sleep. I throw my book at them "It will help you! It will change your life!" I see people at Walmart with their kids at 11pm crying and I think "omg, it's not the kid's fault they are crying. It's so far past the time that kid should be in bed. HOW DARE YOU YELL AT THEM? It's your fault. Not theirs." I've judged those with children who had poor behavior. A well rested child means a world of difference of personality in my children. The difference between angelic saint and a pretty good impression of Voldemort. I admit it. I'm a sleep snob. Apparently all this judgement and snobbiness has come back to bite me in the behind. 

Since moving to Florida my children's sleep has been terrible. I haven't pinned down what it is, but I think it has to do with the 10 days we spent in a hotel. They didn't have their own beds. They didn't have a room to sleep in. They were absurdly spoiled because what could we do but sleep with them? We were in a hotel room. Then when we finally moved into our new house, Ainsley was scared and Riley no longer sleeps in a crib (he can climb out) so I sat with them. This meant having to stagger bed times so that I could sit with each of them because despite Cheyenne's offer of assistance, neither child wanted him. They wanted me. So I sat with each child so they could sleep easy. I didn't do anything like read books or pat their backs until they fell asleep. I've just sat in the room. This has been going on for a month. A month. Okay, fine. No big deal. Except that as the month has gone on it's taken longer for the kids to fall asleep. It's to the point where it can take 2-3 hours to put the kids to bed. That means that even if I start at 6pm, I likely won't be free with my evening time until 8 or 9. 

Then there's the nightwaking. My kids who have slept through the night for years. (yes, Riley is 2, he hasn't had nightwaking issues for at least a year. More like 15 months. Remember? Sleeping is the one thing my kids rock at.) The kids are both getting up in the middle of the night wanting me to sleep with them. Wanting to sleep in our too small queen bed. Or worse, Riley waking up at 5am and demanding his waffle. Maybe some of you are laughing at me. But you have to understand the severity of this to me, I do not wake up at 5am. Never. Even when my kids were nursing, I got up at 5am and basically slept in a chair while my they nursed. (I read once in What to Expect the First Year that it's "impossible to sleep and nurse" I'm either a super hero or they didn't try very hard.)

The thing is when I don't sleep, I'm a raging bitch. I wish I could explain the situation without swearing, but there's just no other word for it. I'm awful. I'm mean, I'm snappy, I'm not okay. Despite being on blessed shore duty (Cheyenne won't deploy for the next 3 years) I feel more alone than ever when it comes to help from Cheyenne. It's not his fault. He wants to help. But his day starts at 4:30am (meaning he's gone before the dreaded 5am wake up) and though it should end sometime around 2pm, he is usually home around 4 or 5. That means that he's ridiclously exhausted by 6pm and when anyone is up in the middle of the night I feel guilty asking for any help. I'm the one that stays home all day. I shouldn't need help, right? Wrong. 

I got my period yesterday. (adding to the bitchy) By bedtime I put Riley down and sat with him for maybe 35 minutes before I snapped. I got up and left his room. He came screaming after me as though I was leaving him to a pack of rabid dogs. When I came into the living room I screamed at Ainsley and Cheyenne because Ainsley was not ready for bed (the thing I asked of the two of them before I took Riley to bed.) I started screaming and crying now my husband was pissed at me for needlessly yelling at my kids. We traded kids and he sat with Riley and I sat with a crying Ainsley. I felt guilty about the urge to punch my kids and my husband in the face. 

Fast forward to this morning. At 5am. Yeah. Cheyenne is working at some soccer tournament as medical support all day today and tomorrow so again, I feel awful asking him for help. At some point I ended up with both of my kids in Riley's bed. I feel asleep. They both fell asleep. At 6am Riley was demanding waffles and I actually threatened him with sleeping outside. I finally gave up and got them both up, turned on the tv, got their waffles, etc. Then I went to my room and cried. I cried hard. I cried long. I prayed to just make my feelings of absolute anger leave my body because I was and am still so angry. And my poor husband didn't know what to do. Just in case you were wondering, asking if I was okay is not the proper thing to say. But he had to leave. And I have to be here. With my kids all day. Without a car. And all day tomorrow. Again. 

So let's review, Crystal is sleep deprived. My kids are demanding that I be the one to put them to bed. A task that takes hours. My husband is gone all day. We only have one car now so I'm stuck at home. I still haven't made any friends (you know the actual kind, that you could call up and do something with) and I have an insane urge to kill my children. I'm not going to actually kill my kids. Put down the phone and stop googling the number for CPS in Pensacola. 

All of this writing is supposed to make me feel better. It doens't. I'm still crying like a crazy person and I'm sure you'll all tell me how wonderful I am or how this will pass or something equally annoying but said with love and concern. That's why I'll be disabling comments. I just wanted to show you that I'm not perfect. That blog post from the other day is true. We all should show that we're not so perfect. So yeah, there's that. 

( Read more... )
Title: The Completely Screwed Up and Overly Complicated Happy Ending Part 2/2 
Author: crystalkei
Characters/Pairing:Peeta/Katniss
Rating: I'm gonna say PG13. Haymitch swears (because if the books weren't YA he would curse like a sailor!) Suggestion of sexual encounters but nothing specific
Category: romance/angst (because can anything be fluffy from this source material?)
Spoilers: Mockingjay
Summary: This story fills in the break between the last chapter in Mockingjay and the epilogue. It seemed like such a copout to have your character who despised the idea of children end up with children because "Peeta wanted them so badly." Peeta's POV.
A/N: I didn't really have a true beta and this is my first foray into present tense, I hate it. But I wanted to stick with the feel of the books. If you notice any errors, please let me know. Of course, I don't have any rights to the source material. I'm just not that sadistic. 

( Read more... )


Title: The Completely Screwed Up and Overly Complicated Happy Ending Part 1/2 (It's too large for LJ so the second part is going up right now.)

Author: crystalkei

Characters/Pairing:Peeta/Katniss

Rating: I'm gonna say PG13. Haymitch swears (because if the books weren't YA he would curse like a sailor!) Suggestion of sexual encounters but nothing specific

Category: romance/angst (because can anything be fluffy from this source material?)

Spoilers: Mockingjay

Summary: This story fills in the break between the last chapter in Mockingjay and the epilogue. It seemed like such a copout to have your character who despised the idea of children end up with children because "Peeta wanted them so badly." Peeta's POV.

A/N: I didn't really have a true beta and this is my first foray into present tense, I hate it. But I wanted to stick with the feel of the books. If you notice any errors, please let me know. Of course, I don't have any rights to the source material. I'm just not that sadistic. 

Title: May Angels Lead You Part 2
Author: crystalkei
Pairing(s): Nina/George, Annie/Mitchell
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I do not own these fabulous characters but maybe one day if I'm lucky and I eat all my veggies I can write those cheesy tie in novels.
Words: 2189
Summary: Annie's still pining, but George and Nina have found someone to help with their home birth. 
Author's notes: WIth the holiday weekend coming up I wanted to post this now, before my life got crazy. I'm sorry to have gone so long without updating. Thanks again to Megan and Angela for the beta help and encouragement. If you aren't reading their fics, you're missing out. 

( Read more... )